Some call it being patient with others. Others recognize it as putting their needs on the back burner because someone else deserves the attention. There are people who may even refer to it as recognizing the difficulties that someone faces and understanding that we all need a pass sometimes, and yes, we do. But no matter how you choose to define it, we are responsible for the ways others treat us on an ongoing basis. We give others direction on how to behave by what we allow and boundaries we uphold or fail to create. As much as we like to dole out blame for the wrong people place upon us, we are just as responsible for the actions and attitudes we choose to ignore. Here are five common ways we dishonor ourselves daily.
Allowing Hurtful and Offense Language
Tempers get the best of us at times and we often lash out at those closest to us because we know they'll "understand" or let us get away with it. When we feel we've been wronged we, consciously or subconsciously, project those same actions onto others (for so many reasons I won't name here). This may come in the form of yelling, belittling, cursing, name calling, and being plain old nasty. What's the phrase? "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." We dishonor ourselves each time we allow someone to degrade us with their words or disable us with their tone of voice. It's important that we seek to understand the behavior but not excuse it. No amount of childhood trauma or difficult circumstances allow the audacity of disrespect. I mean that for both us and our offenders. Food for thought: often, the way we learn to talk to ourselves is the way we permit others to address us. Set clear boundaries on language, voice potential consequences, and follow through with accountability.
Reacting From Frustration Instead of Character
We've all been there: there are some people who can really get under our skin to the point where we want to give them every curse word in the book. I know how I can be, say the wrong thing to me and I'm liable to say the first disrespectful thing that comes to mind. And what's my excuse? They make me like this! Or even, I had to let them know so they wouldn't try me again! Because in my head, and some of ya'll, you have to give respect to get it and I'll be damned if you think you can try me. But the truth of the matter is, people will try you and they do get the best of you when you respond in ways that dishonor your character and your integrity. The ability to respond in a way that gets your point ac